Issy’s story of searching for identity, exploring gender transition and encountering Jesus along the way.
Issue 7 | February 2026Initially, what made you want to change your gender?
When I moved to Wellington and started going to Victoria University, I joined the queer club. There, I met lovely transgender people. I realised that you can change the way you see yourself and the way you’re seen by others. It reminded me that when I was growing up, I wanted to be a boy. When I learned that this was a very real possibility, the idea of transitioning formed at the back of my mind, then grew and developed as time went on.
What did the transitioning journey look like for you?
It was a search for peace. I started off my initial transitioning journey by cutting my hair very short and styling it in a more masculine way, to see how it would make me feel. I told myself that it was a trial; if it wasn’t for me, that would be ok. But after I cut off my hair, everything felt right, and the journey continued.
Once I made up my mind to properly transition, it was very fast-paced. I had a well-thought-out plan to start changing my gender, and nothing was going to change my mind. I began hormone replacement therapy at the end of 2017, had a double incision mastectomy in 2018, and a full hysterectomy in 2019. I was very determined to become a man as soon as possible and thought I would be able to accomplish my goal.
Why did you decide to de-transition, and how did your faith factor into this?
Believe it or not, after an LSD trip in 2018, I couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly and purposefully the world was made. This type of drug makes your brain think about things differently! Eventually, I decided that there must be a Creator, and sensed in my heart that I needed to “look for Jesus.”
Throughout 2019 and 2020, I began a relationship with Jesus as I read the Bible and learned to pray. When I found Jesus and learned who I am in Him, I was burdened with constant reflection about my life. I suddenly had a lot of questions that no one seemed to have answers for. On my chosen path to search for peace, I had encountered a spiritual barrier, and the motivation to become a man slowly started to fade away.
Over the course of a year or so, I contemplated everything I thought I knew about myself. One of the main things I reflected on was my belief that I was a man. Once I understood that there is a perfect God who created everything, and that I was perfectly created by Him, I began to see that I wasn’t a man, nor would I ever be— no matter how much I changed my outward appearance.
Being a biological female was just a fact I could never change. Once I came to this understanding, I realised that I needed to de-transition in order to fully make peace with myself.
When I lived as a man, I had started to feel like I was fighting God and rejecting what He had made, and I didn’t want to keep doing that. There had always been something missing and I was never fully satisfied. I had felt as though I was trying hard to be something I was not, and it kept catching up with me one way or another.
Now that I’ve de-transitioned, I have peace and absolute truth (Jesus) to lean on. He gives me strength every day.
What has God been teaching you post-de-transition?
God has been teaching me about carrying my cross (Matthew 16:24). My life was full of unhealthy and dangerous habits, and when I chose Jesus, I realised that I couldn’t keep living the same life AND be a Christian. Instead, I needed to repent and turn away from my sinful choices.
For example, injecting myself with testosterone was a rejection of the perfect creation God had made. I had to learn to love myself in the way God loved me, and not listen to the wrong beliefs I’d heard from social media and current ideologies.
God’s been showing me that no matter how hard life is, and how corrupt our world can be, He will carry my burdens if I let Him.
When something is His will, He provides a way; and as I’ve come to Him with my prayers and concerns, He has met me where I’m at and provided everything I need—often in the most unforeseen, unpredictable ways.
One example is that when I started de-transitioning, paying for the laser removal of my facial hair left me with only just enough to cover basic living expenses. A new friend put $500 in my account for de-transitioning-related costs and told me it was “because God says so.” Another organisation offered to sponsor my birth certificate, driver’s licence, and passport to be changed back to showing my biological gender. And after an interview with Family First, a random stranger put $1,000 in my account to help fund specialist appointments.
As a student, I stress about money all the time, but even writing this now reminds me that God always provides— I just need to stop worrying and trust Him.
What advice would you give to someone who is in a similar situation?
If you’re considering transitioning, don’t rush into it like I did — no matter how sure or serious you may be! You were intricately woven by a God who loves you and who created you perfectly and intentionally, so look at other options. Did you know that it’s normal to feel uncomfortable in your body? Most people feel that way at some point in their lives.
Deciding to physically transition is a choice you do not have to take, and it’s a big deal you might regret. In your life, somewhere along the line, there is a missing link where your mind and feelings broke away from the truth of your biology—you weren’t born disconnected. It took me a couple years of therapy to find my missing link, but I found it eventually in Jesus.
Prayer Points: Transgenderism in Aotearoa
Many of us personally know people who have changed their gender, or have seen the impact transgender ideology is having on our communities. As followers of Jesus, how can we pray?
• That people who have changed their gender - or are considering it – would know that they are deeply loved by God and perfectly created, and would come to know Jesus as their Saviour and Lord.
• For the church in Aotearoa to minister to the queer community in love and strength of conviction, but not to give in to condemnation or fear.
• For God’s forgiveness and mercy to be shown to healthcare professionals who provide this service; that they would understand the truth about what they’re doing and repent.
• Consider your own heart, and ask God to bring to light any unforgiveness or bitterness towards the queer community, the media, the government or individuals so that you can repent and leave it at the cross.
The Strangers Editorial Team